The Life You Want

Description

Hi, I’m Siamak Diba and I’m a Therapist and Coach.
I offer face to face online and in person therapy sessions and I can help you with:

Anxiety:
Waking up worried or something during the day triggering your worries which sometimes is vague and sometimes specific,
A feeling of dread or impending calamity which sometimes is mild and sometimes almost unbearable,
Thinking about future scenarios and almost always imagining the worst,
Doubt, suspicion, hypersensitivity, physically unpleasant sensations,
your relationships being affected by this.....
Anxiety has its roots in the past but it is always about the future.
let me tell you this also: anxiety is normal, it is part of life. The problem occurs when your fears, worries and anxieties seem to take over and become your whole life.
You can break free!
You might have tried some ways of controlling, avoiding, suppressing, distracting, changing your thinking... talking yourself out of your fears, worries and anxieties. You might have even tried counselling to get help with doing some of the above.
Coping strategies might work short term but in the long run...?
I'm here to tell you that freedom, management of ALL your states and having the life that you want is possible.
In order to do this we become 'present'.
In order to become present, we might have to go on a journey into the past and the future but ultimately you arrive at your most capable, resourceful, connected, 'present' self.
To achieve this, we will use a few psychotherapeutic tools. These include:
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy:
.Self Observation, identifying your internal language
. Starting a new internal language and behaviours and experiences of life

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy:
. Pausing and Noticing, evaluating your experiences. Let me describe this with a short story:
A native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: and I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is angry, vengeful, scared and violent one, the other wolf is a loving, compassionate one, The grandson asked him: and which wolf will win the fight in your heart and The grandfather answered: and The one I feed the most!
. Setting 'What's Important, Living Directions (WILD),and moving towards them.


Inner Child work:
. Identifying wounds of the past and any trauma you might have experienced
. Healing the wounds by connecting to the child of long ago and 'reclaiming her/him' and reparenting her/him'.
To do inner child work we will also have to use Transactional Analysis, psychodynamic exploration and Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques.
I am happy to discuss these with you in our introductory initial consultation session.

I'm sure other therapeutic tools will come in handy during our work as I'm sure other areas of concern might arise when we start this journey together. We will use those tools and we will address those areas as needed.

So, regarding Anxiety and any of the problems you are struggling with, let me give you an analogy:
and I'm sure you know what Poison Ivy is. Poison Ivy is a plant that is a strong skin irritant. Most people try to avoid touching the plant because they know what they'll get: a nasty, red, blistering rash that itches like hell. If you've ever touched one, you know what it's like. you've got a strong urge to scratch, and when you do that, you make matters worse. You might end up with open sores on your skin. And if you haven't washed the plant oils from your hands and exposed area, you may spread the allergic reaction to other parts of your body. No amount of scratching will cure the inflammation. You need to stop the scratching and allow your body to heal itself.
The anxiety itch is like this too. The discomfort rages through your head and your body and you have a strong urge to get relief. So you avoid. you struggle. The problem is that you can't avoid exposure to anxiety the way you can avoid a poison ivy plant.
Anxiety can show up anywhere or anytime. When you scratch your anxiety itch with avoidance and struggle, it makes the anxiety worse- The anxiety grows and spreads to infect most of your life. Also, all the struggle pulls you out of your life too

Relationships:
Almost all relationships I have worked with have had a few commonalities in their issues:
Unhealthy communication
Loss of trust/respect/interest/goodwill
Disorder of desire
Resentment and Alienation

There's some more but I'll stop there for now. Each of the above need to be examined and addressed and worked with,
Also,
There's always each person and their processes; What I mean is that there are issues that each person brings to the relationship and how those issues impact the relationship.
So usually, the work involves a combination of individual and couples work

My experience of working with couples has shown me that the best results are achieved when each person is up for personal discovery, healing and growth, as well as being willing to work on the relationship dynamics.

In terms of relationship dynamics, some of the and to consider might be and for granted- Stale- Resentment- entrenched- Mistrust- projection and... There are of course more and the important skill is to be able to move from 'generalisation' into 'specifics' and then the big one: Communication!
Conflicted communication which moves and keeps a person in 'ego-defence' is often the mechanism of a relationship dysfunction. You can, with guidance, navigate your way through; If 'goodwill' still exists between you.

For all this to become possible, there are 2 requirements:
1- that there is goodwill left between you two and
2- that each of you are willing to also look inside and go for personal change.
If these requirements are there, then we can do some good work.

Through our work you will break free, achieve 'Presence' and move mindfully and fast towards the life you want.
We will meet on Zoom, or we will meet in person at one of 2 locations I work from. The sessions are 50 minutes long.
There's a lot to say, contact me and let's start. Call or email me to set up your initial session.

Ad ID: 80000544780