I think the title basically sums it up. I moved here two months ago from Northern Europe and have yet to find a job in this festering shithole. I need to meet new people to get out and do shit with because I'm moving in with my girlfriend and she's so fucking clingy she makes me want to kill myself. So, being unemployed, I'm going to have her dragging me around all day and going to United Colors of Benetton or Tommy Hilfiger is not my idea of fun.

So, I'm really offensive. I make myself laugh, and that's usually by making fun of people, constantly. I won't make fun of the mentally of physically handicapped though because I think that's mean.

I don't have normal hobbies. I fucking hate sports. I get exercise but I fucking hate sports. They're too homoerotic and bro/jock shit for me. That and I have no fucking coordination. So no, I don't want to talk about soccer.

I find the following things hilarious: The Big Lebowski; The Boondocks and Dwight from the Office. If you don't think any of these are even remotely funny we won't get along. I also enjoy a LOL cat or two.

I make very obscure jokes, constantly,

I like watching horror movies. Especially zombie movies, but in general, I find gore repulsive.

I have really electic taste in music. I'm a complete nerd and have far too many records. I prefer noise, power electronics, ambient, synthpop and new wave stuff. However, I can't get enough of Prince. I fucking love Prince up until he got all religious and stopped singing about whacking off and fucking his sister and all the stuff that made him good. You know what? No one ever found Jesus and made better "art" as a result. I can only sing a few songs beginning to end, and I think it'd be "Story of My Life" by Social Distortion, "Country Roads" by John Denver, and maybe something else. To name a few favorites: Coil, Swans, New Order, and some other shit.

I get much worse when I'm drunk. I normally wake up the next day and it's just a long process of me slowly remembering what I did to embarass myself or piss other people off. Last weekend it took me three hours to remember how I bruised my arm and why my back was insanely sore. In general though, I just drink occasionally.

I have nerdy hobbies. I read books with a dictionary to try and memorzie every word. I study a couple of languages too.

I hate it when Brits act like they can't understand me because I speak American English. If I say I want "take out" or something "to go" don't act like you don't fucking understand shit tooth. Some cunt couldn't understand "nonfat milk" today and that got me irate.

I am a complete misanthrope. I have serious qualms with every nationalty, race, culture, and sub-culture of people. I could go on ad nauseum on this but then people would just flag the ad and I'd be stuck walking Oxford Street with Princess Buttercup for the rest of my fucking life.

Don't answer this if you're looking to fuck me in the ass, stick your dick in my mouth or vice versa.

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