Dear desperado,

Presumably "everybody" includes your good self, so I'd like to start by saying I'm glad you were entertained by my sarcasm, I'm thrilled that you noticed the wit, and I can only hope that you'll benifit from the grammar lesson. I'm forced to assume that we have quite a way to go however, judging on your obvious inability to grasp the difference between singular and plural, as demonstrated by your inappropriate use of the word "lessons".

I'm sure you'll understand that there's only a finite amount of time I can dedicate to gumtree. Most of my waking hours have to be dedicated to more worthwhile pursuits such as my hobbies, my job, and the act of having mutually consensual and enjoyable sex with REAL women (as in, being in the same room as one who hasn't felt the necessity to charge me for being there).

I shall leave you with a tiny rhyme that you'd do well to keep in the back of your tiny mind, just in case an actual woman ever sees fit to reply to your shite posts:
Sounds fit on the phone? Add 10 stone!

Sooner or later you're bound to either run out of free minutes or persuade a woman to let you jiggle your bits about inside her, but until then make my wit your mantra - it'll keep you safe.

No need to reply and thank me buddy, just doing my good deed for the day.

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