I confess I am feeling suicidal. I want to kill myself.

I know I will never do it but I miss my ex-boyfriend who is married now and probably has a kid on the way. I have spent five years trying to get over him but I still haven't succeeded. Everytime I think I am in a good place I end up wishing it was him who was with me to see it and when I am in a bad space I need him nearby even more.

I am beautifull, succesful and I can be the life of the party if I need to be, but despite this, I can't move on. I think I have forgotten how to love. I'm afraid I will never be that free again :(

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