I have come on the Gumtree many times, and tried to find a decent woman on here whose FAKE, not after my bank account, sign post me to other websites or cam tv, get a passport or who are not insane or on the rebound from there ex. Its easy to find a car, a flat even a collectable figure on here yet to find a genuine person thats seems a mircle.

So what do I do to forget my misery? I turn tback to gumtree, offers of ‘nsa fun’.

I not into mind games or one of those great pretenders players wasting precious time with laughable choice of sleaziest tabloid rolling off a production line. But I like what you wrote I think it would be great if we could hang out for a bit, first just as friends and if something more develops, then great, if not, no big deal.

Altho many of friends are trying to get me to go out on blind dates. Big 'NO' to that because all my friends are a bunch of lying players. They're always like, say you're really gonna dig this girl. She's got Jessica Alba looks, cross between keira knightly & Janet Jackson smile, J-Lo's bum, Angelina Jolie lips.' Yeah, they always forget to tell me she's also got Frankenstein's brain, she a toy they all have slept with before and the personality and the humour of the speaking clock and no pulse on life.

No sugar coating here as bad for your teeth! I am a giver not a taker. I love to laugh, and to make people laugh. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I want to meet someone that can be my best friend and more. I like going out but am totally happy staying in with you as you would be one of my best friends.

I'm a I am one of those people you see in the bars dancing night away, office joker one who can dish it out but is also not afraid to laugh at himself, who works hard and plays hard, gym, seminars with the indulgent information in his mind, etc an infectious smile who simply radiate good times but under this exterior is a guy who is really romantic, honest, decent and sweet guy looking for a serious relationship, hence one of the reason why i am here.

I am ambitious and have an interesting job, well I think it is interesting! I like it because it is challenging and takes me out of my comfort zone. However, it is also incredibly frustrating

I do enjoy most things i do, like walking, travel, having a good glass of wine, cinema, theatre, gig, staying in, I love cuddles. I also love comedy clubs, galleries, the arts, music, dining out and movies new tastes, music, films, nature documentaries and science such as quantum mechanics.

Being 5'10ft (5'11ft with heels) I’m good looking (unless my magic mirror has been lying to me all theses years and used to do a lot of modelling, back in the day. However, I kept getting my fingers stuck together with cello-tape and glue, so now I just stick to painting, by numbers. O.k I'm no heartthrob or oil painting but I'm a gregarious, vibrant and witty guy very much in tune with myself and genuine.

I may not be a rocket-scientist but I have occasional outbursts of intelligence and who can hold a deep floral inspiring conversation, or be an dance floor elevation, guaranteeing to turn your smile into a laughter!. I don’t take themselves too seriously but at the same time know when to be sensible and have goals in life.

So if I'm so wonderful, why haven't I met anyone? Well, the answer's easy… I am modern guy with old fashioned values the baked Alaska, the summer and the winter, the sweet and sour, the Gazpacho on a cold night, the chilli basking under the summer rays of heat, the rough and smooth, the cheese and onion with many layers...and now yes, I've become one of them quote; The online dater; sitting here with bashing away at my laptop.

So here I am stripped of all make up and fancy clothes, a true male who reflects no mould, not a carbon copy, or soup going cold of fabricate information. No gimmicks or lines or cheesy pillow talk lies and a smile that dies.

No wonder I don't have a girlfriend with me ranting and raving monosyllabic sales drivel on about me, myself and I, and not knowing anything about you.

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