This was initially written for a friend but after months and months of keeping it in my laptop I thought, anyone can relate to this, anyone who has lost a loved one. I just wanted to share the heartache that one goes through when losing someone so close and dear to their hearts…

He left me. He left me. He… left…me. Yes, he left me – standing here in the rain with his heart bleeding in my hands. I’m not crying but my eyes are sore. I’m not alright but I’m still standing. Why aren’t I falling? Why aren’t I crawling in my tears? Clutching his heart to my chest, smothering my clothes in his blood – longing for his touch, longing for his love and longing for his embrace. I close my eyes as the first tear drops out of my eyes, lifting his blackened heart up to the sky. Where are you, where are you? WHERE ARE YOU?!

We said goodbye but it wasn’t enough, we touched one last time but it wasn’t long enough. Oh beloved, where are you? Why aren’t you answering my calls? Why am I standing here all alone? Come back – come back to me – please!

Uncontrollable sobs take over me as I drop to the floor; your heart’s getting washed away in the rain – no…No! That’s all I have! Why are you doing this to me?! Please just let me reminisce this one last time. My first love – my beloved, whom I adore so dearly, why have you decided to leave me here on my own? Why have our vows suddenly come to an end? Why aren’t we for eternity? The wind passes over me, bringing your scent to my nose making me cry harder and harder. How much longer can I endure this pain? How much longer will I manage to hold on to your bleeding heart? How much longer till I get to see you again – beloved?


He left me. He left me. He…left…me. Yes, he left me. I’m crying but my eyes aren’t sore, have I cried enough? I’m not alright but I’ll endure – this heartache. He was my beloved and now he’s gone away. He was my beloved and he only left me one thing – his heart in a jar. A tear slides down my cheek as I lay by his side, holding onto his gravestone – wondering, just wondering: will I get to be with him one last time?

Oh beloved…



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thank you.
T x

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