Okay lets get right to it…


Me:

I have tried this internet malarkey before, it is full of freaks. Majority bad a few good. Quite put off actually, but I am bored at work and browsing. I fancy some cosy nights out and wild nights in plus I haven’t paid the gas bill so I am going to need you to keep me warm.

I am not a great fan of long distance relationships, it’s a waste of all that love and passion. So I would prefer a woman in London. Unless you want to make the journey every weekend to my house!
I will be whatever you want, you just have to love me firstly through my stomach and secondly in the bedroom.

I don’t have any baby mama dramas, I have been very selfish with my swimmers. Do I have jealous exes? Not really, I have the spiteful ones, the ones who wouldn’t piss on me if I burnt my hand roasting some chicken with potato wedges.

I am a mature looking 26 year old, skin is mahogany to dark . 13 stone and 6ft. So you could say I am 6ft and 13 stone of dark hard chocolate. (I am trying to sell myself, so I gotta make it sound good right!) Anyway….


You:

I don’t mind the age but there are obvious limits. I have done very well to stay out of prison, I don’t intend to go inside because ‘you’ forgot to mention you were under 16. So please make sure you can vote, have completed your GCSE’s and have your NRA( National Record of Achievement) as proof!
I don’t really mind weight but as long as my bed is intact after a night of ‘Who’s your father’ I am fine.
Have some humour for God’s sake! Ability to laugh is a must. I am not a big fan of serial pouters, yes you know who you are. There are no papparazi about, just wait for the bus man!


Next steps.

Click back and nothing will have changed or click reply and get ready to be ………..

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