Hello humans

I have just arrived from planet of the apes. I left yesterday friday 13th , the day of horror and i arrived today saturdy 14th, the day of love or Valentie's day as you prefer to call it !

This is my description or my CV if you like.
I am not handsome, not elegant, not romantic, not affectionate,not passionate, not intelligent, not successful, not sporty, not tall, do not have muscles, do not have sense of humour, very poor, do not like nature, or animals, or birds or even children...

Not fun-loving, not interested in cooking, do not like entertainment( cinema, theatre, museums, parks, night walks, restaurants and all that stuff...), have no friends, smoke like a train and drink like fish...
Do not read books and not interested in music or Arts,politics, literature,philosophy, history, science, physics, and all that jargon...
Very confused, not organized, very forgetful, pessimistic, negative thinker, and have absolutely no dreams or plans or not even a slight hope for the future....the list is very long unfortunately.

Just to inform you that i visited your planet some time ago but i left very quickly feeling sad and sorry for you, this is why: you have females but no women, males but no gentlemen, sex but no love, pornography but no sexuality, green but no nature,...technology had killed most of your innocence and bad experiences had destroyed trust between you and the result: very few of you trust very few....

Two observations:
1- All my ex friends or girl-friends were apes, this time i am really excited to be with a human friend or girl-friend. So don't desappoint me please coz this will be my first experience and if i like it i promise to stay in your planet and live with you this time. So far so good, some humans(women) are really kind with me, but some men told me this: Why don't you go back to your planet monkey ? Well, never mind, i told them i have a big heart and continued my way !
2- I have a very slim chance that any woman will ever contact me or accept to have an ape as a friend or boy-friend but my only hope is from a woman who is lost somewhere in the Sahara or in Siberia or from a woman who hasn't seen a man for over 10 years or from a woman who might consider emigrating to our planet ( planet of laughter).

Anyway, i am not desparate coz i can live like a monk. We too have monks and monasteries in our planet, just like you.

Finally, please please please don't call us monkies, that's an insult to us. We are apes not monkies; we too have dignity even if we walk nacked, sometimes.

My last words to you: Itkhory ahhashuu fiishuriaa svee, meaning in apes language 'Be my beauty so i could be your beast'.

When i think of valentine's day i ask myself one question: What is the point of having a heart if it's not for falling in love?

My name is Chimpo Chimboulouee from one of the great families in the planet of the apes.

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