Hi I'm Dave originally from the north east of England (born in Middlesbrough raised in Redcar) and have the accent still despite having lived in London for almost a decade

geee where have the years gone

Ok about me I'm 30, turned in February but i'm over the crisis (i look and i act younger , but if im too old go to next ad)

I live in South East London, Hither Green and work in North West, Wembley, in my own flat have my own car and my own job, well done me hey (and just for info i'm an analyst in the telecommunications industry) I'm cute (if your looking for tom cruise go to next ad), funny, genuine, open minded, clever, never married , no kids, and very cheeky (if easily offended go to next ad) I'm 6ft tall - minus a 1/4inch (if that quarter inch bothers you go to next ad) , have nice blue eyes and am of average build (if your looking for an athlete go to next ad)

I'm happy with who i am , the skin i'm in and know what i have to offer yet I'm not cocky or arrogant (if your either go to next ad)

I only take life seriously when i'm paid to (do i even need to say it) I'm very caring (guess what?)

My only flaws are i can be a bit clingy and persistent or so i'm told , with me the light switch is either on or it off, theres no dimmer switch, i don't do moderation too well so i'll let you know where you stand and i'll expect the same in return , i can be a bit direct so be warned

Only get in touch if you can meet soon (lets say within a week) to see if we click or not , i'm excitable and very impatient, and this is my ad so them my rules, but as a simple solution if you can't commit to within a week then don't get in touch till you can but i might no longer be available, I'm only after one lady and when i meet the right lady (if i ever do?) and there is chemistry (has to be mutual of course) i'm gone from here

You can't get to know someone via email or instant messenger so its email , call then meet (and finally if you don't like go to next ad)

You ?

Your cute and have a picture to prove it (i'm not going on any blind dates) Aged 18-35 (i don't really envisage developing a relationship with someone as young as 18 but hey its legal)

Your anywhere in or around London , i drive to work so i'm very mobile

Any race , any nationality aslong as you can speak english and I dont really care what you do as long as your not a bum , but no hookers or strippers please well might reconsider the strippers lol

Slim - Average build, no cuddly women please your just not what i'm after , i like to cuddle but i also like to be able to breath You don't have any kids or relationship baggage

Your not a scammer trying to swindle money out of me (it won't work don't even try, psssssssttttt scroll to the bottom for my bank account details lol) Your not conducting some kind of social experiment and are serious about looking for a relationship or some form of companionship

Your not just looking for a friend or have just stumbled in pissed from a night out with a few friends and thought you'd reply to this ad for a laugh. Here's what you get from me someone who is caring and thoughful, its inbuilt i'm a piscean , my parents fault for creating me when they did. I'll make you laugh smile aswell as feel loved and special

So are you going to get in touch ? I dont know what it is but i prefer dark haired ladies , but if your blonde and have big boobs give it a whirl i might just respond , but whatever your hair colour get back to me and i'll let you know whether your in or out , at the end of the day its only going to go grey or fall out someday anyway so im not going to discriminate too much

Email me at dab_handed_dab@yahoo.co.uk, and if you do get in touch and your close to what i'm looking for (i don't expect you to be perfect , i'm not so why should you be) you can have my msn address or mobile number and i'll send a few more pictures and we can meet somewhere for a meal or drink

Over to you and btw thanks gumtree (hope some relatively normal people use your site) we shall see and people i'm sucking a grape in the picture, no flies were harmed Dave

PS As a piscean im a very giving person but as this website appeals to the masses let me make one thing clear , If you do want to meet its either a walk in the park and a chat or a drink on the priviso we each buy our own or you get the first round in , i'll get the second don't worry if we get that far or if its a meal we go dutch, im not paying for you to enjoy my company you should be paying me and im sick of pissing money away on timewasters im never going to see again oh and if you had to look proviso up in the dictionary i ask you not to reply , thats just the way it is , dont blame me blame the people i have already met

and please only reply to this advert if your interested , if your not go to the next one and dont waste your time telling me this is wrong and the ad be toned down as i want a girlfriend / partner not a physcology session AND PLEASE DON'T BLOODY WISH ME GOOD LUCK, i don't want any good luck , i want a nice lady who i can share my life with , cuddle on the sofa infront of the tv , and talk about little insignificant things etc , i'm me , and i feel ive expressed myself in the advert and if you dont like it , tough , simply means your not strong minded enough , i am and only want replies from people intrigued by what ive said and how ive said it

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