I a not sure why i am typing this? I guess i am here to pour my hear out a little.

I don't know whether the girl in question will ever read this, and i don't even know if at this point it would be a good or bad thing. She will know who she is as 'Koala' was my nickname for her.

I met this wonderful girl about 3 -4 months back now (funnily enough here on gumtree). We had some great times together. We used to joke, laugh, cuddle and be intimate. I finally felt that i had found the girl i had always been looking for. I find here very attractive and cute. And in turn she would often tell me similar things. Things that she found attractive and cute about me.

However despite the good time we used to have, she confused the shit out of me by all of a sudden turning around and pushing me away, saying that she doesn't want to see me anymore This started happening not long in to our relationship. In turn (perhaps this was my downfall) i would go after her and try to show her how much she means to me. Tell her i love her and that i don't want to be with any other girl. That I would stand by her and never intentionally hurt her.

After a few days she would take me back. We would hang out and shag like bunnies. Laugh, cuddle and have the usual good time for a few days, till she would turn around again and say she doesn't want to be with me. This happened over and over again, week after week for almost 4 months. I kept coming back to her as i am truly crazy about this girl. Regardless of the way she would push me away, i still wanted to be with her and was hoping that perhaps she would eventually realise that she has a good guy, who she says she finds attractive that really cares for her. She would often at times treat me really well. Like sending me texts saying 'hi boyfriend...', and unprovoked texts saying 'I love u too xx'.

So i thought she liked me until a few days later she would push me away again.

Anyway, recently she pushed me away again and after i had been repeatedly hurt over and over again i got a little upset and we landed up having a pretty serious argument/fight. Since then it really seems like it is now over between us.

However, although i am upset and a little angry about the way she treated me, i still care for her.
I can't just change the way i feel. My feelings are incredibly strong and very genuine. I believe i love this girl and i still want no other girl in my life except for her. It has only been a few days since it has all ended, but i am so sad all of every day.

I don't know where i am going with this. Perhaps i just need to get it off my chest. I don't know if it would be right for me to tell her i still care for her and wish we could be together. Perhaps it is too soon. I also don't see my feelings changing very quickly either, because they are genuine feelings that i have for her.

I love and miss her with all my heart and want nothing more than to hold her in my arms again.

Well i guess that is all for now.

I anyone wants to make a comment or share some advice feel free to send me a mail.

Bye

'Big Balls'

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