Hi there, firstly thank you for viewing this. Before I begin, just a little about me. I am a late 30’s, very handsome, fit, happy, hard working, honest, intelligent, articulate, independent and a solvent south Asian gay man. I am proud of who I am, adore life, have some great friends, keep myself busy though missing that one person to call my partner…hence this social research ‘project.’ I am a born and bred Londoner, know the ways of life, don’t suffer fools gladly and treat people with respect, dignity and honesty.

So why is it that in this bustling cosmopolitan metropolis, it is so hard to find a decent guy seeking a lifetime partnership, one who knows what this actually entails/means, who has some moral values with his head screwed on rather than just being screwed in the head? I don’t aim for the ‘heterosexual’ archetypal of marriage and kids, I aim for what I want and that is love, romance, monogamy, respect, trust, honesty and huge doses of love making thrown in for good measure. I have done the whole bed hopping scenario and though the instant gratification can be great, that is all it is and I believe there is more to life.

I am predominantly non scene and that is purely out of choice. I have nothing against the scene as it meets a need, just not mine. I am sure not all gay men hang around the scene looking for a partner...maybe a shag...but not a partner. If you want a shag that is fine, just be upfront about it. Gumtree have provided a forum and please, those looking for a casual liaison, place your advert in the appropriate section, It’s called ‘casual relationships’ under the Friends and Dating section. I don’t have an abundance of profiles on ‘dating’ sites which are mostly only an excuse to find the next sex conquest! So if the forum is there, at least have the common sense to use it properly.

I have met a few men from Gumtree though most just tend to be so caught up in their own worlds and have this vision of what they would like that even if it came to them, tickled their ‘fancies', whipped them in to a frenzy and made them laugh uncontrollably, they wouldn’t know what it is they actually want! Relationships are hard work, but if you want one you have to work at it and not pop into your time machine and fast forward to the next chapter, always blaming the other person. Do some self reflection, it is good for the soul! We are all very resilient and won’t crumble if someone doesn’t fancy us or we don’t fancy someone else, just be honest but not hurtful.

If you are still reading award yourself a brownie point, actually you can have a Blue Peter badge too! So here I am in London, consider myself a great catch. I thought lets carry out a social experiment and see if gay men in London do actually know what they want rather than wish they had it and just continuously dream and wake up with their pension book thinking bugger, where did life go or ... if only. I am certainly not desperate to meet someone, but having experienced a few loving long term relationships, I feel I function better in a partnership when it comes to intimacy and I am not embarrassed or ashamed to admit that. Therefore I would genuinely like to find someone for a relationship (Wikipedia definition: a state of connectedness between people - especially an emotional connection), so only reply to this advert if:

You are between 33 to 43
You are of any race/colour/culture
You are 5ft 10 minimum (don’t fancy blokes shorter-I’m being honest)
You are in shape (height to weight ratio)
You know what looking after yourself means/entails
You live in London only (I don’t do long distance relationships)
You genuinely want a relationship in every sense of the word
You have moral values (honesty/trust/respect/value people)
You are romantic
You are monogamous
You are independent, solvent and not selfish
You don't suffer fools gladly
You know the fine line between assertiveness & offensiveness
You have opinions but are not offensive and willing to listen to others
You have the ability to compromise
You know how to have fun, get on with people
You are not racist or bigoted
You are comfortable with your sexuality without screaming it

In return you will have all of the above with huge doses of fun, travel, good times, less good times, debates, arguments, snogs, showers of love, flowers for no reason, silly texts, intimate times, love making etc. I am sure there must be someone out there? So thank you for taking the time to read this diatribe and let the experiment begin by clicking the reply button. Of course it goes without saying, responses will only be provided to those who can string together at least 3 paragraphs of sense.

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